Curse of the Noldor
by jilian baade
Summary: A Feanorian has a difficult choice, to obey L&C or to ignore it? A fic for Finch's birthday.
1. Default Chapter

Curse of the Noldor.  
  
Chapter 1 Himring  
  
Yes, we were cursed, we of the Noldor, and my family particularly. Ah, so you've guessed: a Feanorian I am, one of the infamous Seven Brothers, sons of an equally infamous father.  
  
But which? Listen, and I shall tell you, and along the way you will hear a tale too. It might not be that pleasant, or even that interesting, but it is at least true, as it is true we were truly cursed.  
  
We had arrived in Himring unexpected and unaccompanied, my brother and I. We had been turned out of Nargathrond in a most embarrassing way. All because that silly girl preferred to marry a mortal and to follow him on his quest to retrieve a Silmaril, one of OUR Silmarils, and because our foolish cousin Finrod became involved, and died. Orodreth chose to blame us for Finrod's death and cast us out. So we rode to Himring.  
  
Our brother received us into his home, his eyes full of unasked questions. Maglor was there too, visiting as he often did, and he fussed over us both, asking most of the questions Maedhros as yet, did not.  
  
To our surprise, there were a number of mortals living within Himring as Maedhros' vassals. I avoided them, as they were either beneath my notice, or inclined to make nuisances of themselves. I was quite surprised to notice a number of these mortal warriors in my brother's service were women!! Did they not have homes, husbands, children, who needed them? No, explained Maedhros, these ladies had lost their families in the struggle against Morgoth, and now they fought in the place of dead husbands or fathers.  
  
We ignored these mortals, my brother and I. Recent events hadn't helped me to think well of these people and I found their rougher manners unsavoury, even as I found myself gradually drawn to observe them. Maedhros had finally persuaded us to tell him why we had left Nargathrond, and we didn't lie. It would have been pointless for sooner or later someone would have told our eldest brother the truth.  
  
So yes, we told. We told of capturing Luthien, and holding her against her will. We told of our exile from Nargathrond, and how we had encountered Luthien again, this time with her mortal lover in tow. We had tried, tried so hard to stop Luthien from throwing her life away on this pointless quest to help Beren fulfil his impossible vow. We pointed out that Finrod and his handful of followers had died for nothing, and anyway, how could two succeed where armies had failed? And we tried to tell Luthien that if Beren was successful we were Oath bound to take the gem from him by whatever means necessary.  
  
Maedhros and Maglor listened silently, and then when we done, Maedhros spoke, 'The Oath has stirred again. It is woken, and we must expect to take action soon. So, four of us are here, three remain to be gathered, for I feel we must discuss our actions, and possible options as soon as possible.'  
  
Maglor it was that berated us, though, for our unchivalrous behaviour to a mortal and a woman, until Maedhros bade him stop, asking if perhaps Maglor thought we should have aided those who would steal the Jewels no less than Morgoth had, and that shut Maglor up. He stalked off in one of his rare ill humours, and locked himself in his private chambers with his harp. That I could understand, seeking comfort from his Craft.  
  
Our brothers left us alone for two days, and we kept much to ourselves again, although I found having nothing to do very wearing on my temper. Then it was that Maedhros received a messenger from Caranthir, and quickly despatched the messenger home again with orders for Caranthir to immediately come to Himring for a family counsel.  
  
I was minding my own business, sitting in Himring's great Hall, writing up my recent experiences at Maedhros' 'request' when my oldest brother interrupted me.  
  
'You are bored, are you not, brother,' he remarked.  
  
'I am, yes,' I agreed.  
  
'I have a task for you, if you want it,' said Maedhros, reaching out for my diary. I shuddered slightly, for he used his left hand of course, the right being absent. I often wondered how my red haired brother could bear such a marring of his hroa. I doubt I could.  
  
'I wish for you to find Ambarussa for me, as you know at this time of year they move about much hunting.'  
  
'Yes, I know. But what if they're tucked away in that secret hideaway of theirs? Personally I think they're slightly mad, disappearing for months hunting where no one can find them!' I glared at Maedhros, 'besides what makes you think I can find them? They're far better at hunting and woodcraft then I, and I'll likely never find them!'  
  
'At least try, Curufin! Please? I have reasons for not asking Celegorm to do this.'  
  
'Very well, but I still don't know how I shall find them!' I grumbled.  
  
There was a small group of people playing some silly game seated just to right of Maedhros and I, some of them mortals. One woman was watching, not playing, and she appeared to be listening to our conversation. I caught her looking at me, and glared back, which did not deter this woman at all. In fact she stood up, and walked towards me, and once she stood in front of me, she spoke, 'My Lord, I happen to know where your youngest brothers hide themselves.'  
  
'And how does a mortal know that,' I sneered at my most arrogant.  
  
'I rode far one spring, uncaring where I went or what happened to me, as I was mourning my husband who was killed by Orcs. I happened upon your brother's secret camp one evening, and they allowed me to stay a few days until I had recovered my strength. Then I accompanied them here, as I had vowed to avenge my husband's death, and it is known widely that Lord Maedhros accepts such as myself into his service.'  
  
I did not bother to answer her, and she turned to Maedhros and smiled, 'I would be happy to be Lord Curufin's guide,' she said bowing.  
  
'Why should I need a guide?' I asked, 'you could just tell the way!'  
  
'No, my Lord, I cannot. For I promised Lords Amrod and Amras to never reveal the location of their secret place, but that I might, if sufficient reason existed, guide trustworthy persons there.'  
  
I scowled at that, and stared pointedly at Maedhros who merely smiled and said, 'Curufin, this lady is Fianth; she is of the Haladin, and a valiant warrior. Many are the Orcs who have fallen to her blade on our excursions to rid these lands of such foul creatures.'  
  
I sulkily greeted the lady, and looked her over, from top to toe. She was quite tall for a mortal female, and powerfully built, in fact she looked strong and capable. Her clothing was similar to the mortal men who were curiously watching us, and her long light brown hair was tied in loose knot at the back of her neck. She stared at me from the brown eyes so common in mortals, and I had the feeling that this woman was no happier to guide me than I was to be guided by her, and that the only reason she had offered was loyalty to Maedhros.  
  
'My Lord Curufin,' she bowed to me, and I abruptly indicated she should sit. I looked at Maedhros, who had not shifted his gaze from my face and I knew I had no choice but to accept this woman's offer of guidance.  
  
'How many ride with us,' I asked at last.  
  
'None, you go secretly and swiftly. Two will very likely not be noticed where a large number would be much more easily seen.'  
  
'And when?'  
  
'Tomorrow if you can.'  
  
I looked at Fianth from under my lashes; she seemed unconcerned at such a swift departure. 'I will be ready, Lord,' she said to Maedhros.  
  
'At dawn then,' I snapped.  
  
Fianth rose and left, and I found Maedhros looking at me with a most peculiar expression on his face.  
  
'She will not slow you down, you know. As you should know I would not send her with you if I did not consider her capable of this task.'  
  
I scowled, and bade my brother goodnight, for I would need to be rested to depart early. As I strode from the Hall to my rooms, I could see no sign of my guide, in fact the only person about was an elvish servant, and I spoke to him concerning horses, and the packing of gear. Confident I could leave all in his hands, I took to my bed, and although I knew I needed rest, it evaded for much of the night, as I was so angry. A mortal female to guide me!! 


	2. Travelling

Chapter 2 Travelling.  
  
I was ready to leave just before sunrise. I was examining my mount when Fianth appeared, mounted on a stocky dun gelding and leading a pack pony. She was again dressed as a man, which was sensible for travelling. A bow was strapped to her saddle, and she wore a sword slung across her back.  
  
Curtly, I indicated she should ride abreast of me, and we left just as the sun fully rose. At mid morning we halted, and rested the horses, Fianth giving me some bread and dried meat the pony carried as a breakfast of sorts. She did not speak, and nor did I, and soon we were on our way again. We stopped once more during the day, and after that rode steadily until the lowering of the sun indicated the day was nearing it's end, when we made camp in a small clearing not from a stream.  
  
'Should I picket the horses, Lord?' asked Fianth after we unsaddled.  
  
'No, for my stallion will not let the others stray,' I answered.  
  
We busied ourselves for a short while, she fetching water from the nearby stream, I collecting firewood and lighting a small camp fire. I was just starting to wonder where my mortal guide was, and thinking it would be just like a female to have stumbled across danger of some sort and to need rescuing when she strode back into the clearing, water bags slung over one shoulder, and a pair of young rabbits ready for cooking over the other.  
  
Wordlessly, she placed the water bags carefully on the ground, and sat down, 'how do you like your rabbits cooked, Lord.'  
  
By now, I was getting angry at her refusal to use my name. 'My name is Curufin,' I growled, 'and I will cook the rabbits. Mortals have no idea how to even boil water!'  
  
At that, she handed me the rabbits, and set about collecting firewood, and laying out our blankets. I watched as she filled a small pot with water, and set it carefully at the edge of the fire to boil.  
  
'I hope you will allow me to make some hot tea, Curufin?' she asked.  
  
'Yes,' I said, for I could hardly stop her. She then busied herself going through her saddlebags searching for something. I guessed that it was whatever she'd put in one of the saddlebags wrapped in a cloth during our afternoon break. She soon found and placed to the side the small bundle, and simply gave an amused look to my questioning glance. That really annoyed me, for she had been looking at me all day as if I was simply there to amuse her.  
  
The rabbits were soon ready, and we ate them quickly, sopping up the juices with bread. Fianth surprised me, for she ate as much as I did, but then we had ridden quite hard all day, and I had certainly been hungry, and so had she. The second thing that surprised me that evening was that the tea Fianth made was nice, quite pleasant in fact. She opened her small bundle when she gave me the cup of tea and revealed blackberries!! One of my favourite fruits. By the time our simple meal was finished, and we had shared the last of the tea, I was feeling almost charitably disposed to my guide.  
  
We set no watch that night, or for the next few as I knew my stallion was all the watch we needed this close to Himring. Typical of mortals, Fianth needed more rest than I, and she fell asleep early. I sat watching the stars for some time, before tending the fire one last time and lying down. Sleep came to me quickly, but I woke before dawn. My guide had not stirred, and all I could see of her was her hair poking out the top of her blankets.  
  
Strangely enough, I still felt pleased with her from the hot tea and berries the night before, and acting quite uncharacteristically for me, I made some tea before waking her. Unlike many mortals, she woke completely the instant my hand touched her shoulder, sitting up straightaway.  
  
She thanked me when I gave her the cup, and smiled as she realised I'd made the same tea as she had the previous night.  
  
Soon we rode on, and we kept much the same schedule as of yesterday, and again for the next few days. In that time I found Maedhros was right, Fianth had not slowed the rate of travel I could manage as an elf. I also found that once I began behaving reasonably towards her, she became a pleasant travelling companion, and we told each other stories and chatted quietly as we rode.  
  
Four days from Himring, I suggested we stop overnight at a place I knew well, a small cave system that would shelter us from the storm my elven senses had warned me was coming. Fianth did not argue, whether through some mortal knowledge of the arrival of the storm, or simple weariness, I did not know, and did not ask. I kept to myself the other reason for stopping at these caves, to surprise my guide. It had been a long time since I had enjoyed a lady's company and I felt a foolish desire to please this lady.  
  
The first drops of rain were falling from dark grey skies as we found the entrance to the caves, and hurried within. There was plenty of room for the horses, and as I'd insisted on collecting some wood earlier in the day we soon had a cheerful blaze burning on the cave floor. A small spring fed pool provided clear water and we were quite comfortable.  
  
Fianth was reclining on her bedding poking sticks into the fire when she looked up at me where I stood in the cave mouth, watching the lightning rend the night sky.  
  
'There is only one thing missing!' she said brightly.  
  
'And what would that be?' I asked.  
  
'A hot bath on this chilly evening. It is unfortunate we are in the wilderness far from such luxuries!'  
  
I laughed. 'Would you care for a surprise, Fianth?'  
  
'A surprise?' She looked delighted as a child.  
  
'Come,' I walked to where she sat, and held out my hand, 'follow me!'  
  
Surprised, she nonetheless took my hand and rose to follow me. I carried a burning branch like a torch to light our way and we walked through a small opening in the back of the cave wall, and immediately turned right through another opening and there was what I wished to show my guide. An underground lake, but not just any underground lake. I'd been there before, in the company of some of my brothers and I knew this lake had a shallow, even depth and by some miracle of the One's it was warm. Well, quite hot, actually, but still pleasant for bathing.  
  
'Touch the water', I said.  
  
She knelt, and ran her hand over the water carefully, then smiled as she realised it was hot, and let her hand fully enter the water. 'We could bathe here!' she exclaimed happily.  
  
'Indeed we can. It's quite safe, I have bathed here before.'  
  
'I want to fetch some clean clothes,' she remarked.  
  
'So do I! There is more than enough room for two, so why should one of us wait, we can share!' I said. Then I noticed her look of apprehension, 'I am an elf, Fianth; you need have no fear for your virtue. We are simply going to relax in this hot spring together, and maybe share the wineskin I stole from Maedhros.'  
  
She relaxed then, apprehension gone from her as we went back to our camp, and fetched back our clean clothes, some more burning branches to serve as light, and even some candles Fianth had, in case, she said, that she should need them. I brought my wineskin; tea was nice but on a cold evening wine seemed to heat one up better. On a whim, I went back to get some food, for I knew I'd get hungry once the wineskin became lighter, and when I returned Fianth was already immersed in the water, much to my disappointment, I found. I know this was a little base of me, but I had been rather curious to see her naked. The only reason I could give even myself was curiosity to see just how closely Fianth might resemble an elven woman.  
  
Quickly, I removed my clothes and slid into the water, completely immersing myself for an instant. I pushed my hair from my face, as I sat up in the water watching my guide who had turned away until she was sure I was in the water, busying herself with lighting some of the candles she had set by the pool's edge.  
  
'The candlelight is pretty reflected in the water,' I said when she had finished.  
  
'It is, isn't it?' she said, turning back to face me, and shaking wet hair from her face. Like I, she had completely submerged herself. I took a swig from the wineskin, and held it out to Fianth who took it after a slight hesitation. She drank deeply and gave it back, and I noticed to my amusement that she was completely unaware that I had just gained a very good peek at her breasts. Very nice, I thought, and then suddenly I was ashamed of myself. The lady was certainly not trying to display herself.  
  
So, I resolved to behave myself, and we relaxed, enjoying the warmth and the wineskin. Fianth declined to share the food with me, laughing and saying it was as well for me that elves don't get fat or I would with all the eating I did.  
  
I was in too good a humour to do anything but laugh at her, and I laughed very hard when she showed me her hand, with the skin on her fingers all wrinkled up.  
  
'Doesn't this happen to elves?' she asked as I laughed. It occurred to me that I was drunker than I ought to be, and that perhaps the hot water might be responsible.  
  
'Eventually, but I'd have to be in here all night!'  
  
'Don't tempt me! I haven't been this comfortable and relaxed since, well, I don't remember when!'  
  
'Not even in Himring?' I asked lazily.  
  
'Well, no. I mean, Lord Maedhros has made sure all his warriors are well housed, but I have no private place I can truly relax in. Nowhere I can really say 'this space is mine!'  
  
I knew what she meant; it was a common complaint amongst warriors. I suppose there are times in everyone's life when you just want to be alone where no one can bother you.  
  
'Just how does a young mortal woman decide to become a warrior? You said your husband was killed by Orcs, but there has to more to the tale than that,' I asked her. This had been on my mind since we left Himring, and I felt the time had come to ask.  
  
'Why do you ask? Just idle curiosity, or more?' she said.  
  
'Curiosity about you, yes, idle curiosity no. I like to know the answers to riddles, and you are a riddle.'  
  
'No less than you!' she remarked, ducking under the water to wash her face.  
  
'What do you mean!' I said, surprised by my guide yet again.  
  
'You pretend everything means nothing to you, that you are above things like feelings, or emotion. I have seen you before, on your last visit to Himring three years ago, and I thought then that your arrogant manner hid a man who actually feels things too deeply. This journey with you has done nothing to alter my views.'  
  
'You may right, and I might tell you if you answer my question. Ladies first, remember.'  
  
'What do you want to know Curufin?' she said almost aggressively.  
  
So, she has a temper, I thought. 'Surely you have a family that needs you?'  
  
'No, I have no siblings, my parents have been dead for more than ten years and my only child died of fever five years ago. So, I fight to avenge those I loved who are dead. What of you? Do you have a wife or children?'  
  
I was surprised at the flare of pain her question caused, yet she had answered my questions so I supposed it was fair I answered hers.  
  
'I have a wife, and a son,' I said quietly. Suddenly I wished to be out of the water, and back by the fire. 'I'm going back to the fire,' I said, and got out of the hot spring, grabbed my clothes and dripping wet strode back to the campfire.  
  
A few minutes passed, in which I dressed myself, and then Fianth appeared, fully clothed, her wet hair hanging loosely down her back. She did not, as I thought she would have, seat herself opposite me, but next to me.  
  
'Curufin, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You have lost your family, too? Your wife and son are dead?' Her voice was gentle.  
  
'No. They live. My wife didn't love me enough to follow me here from Aman, and my son has disowned me.' Horrified, I felt hot tears trickling down my face. I did not allow things to get to me like this. Angry with myself, I raised my hand to dash away the visible signs of my weakness, when Fianth's hand stopped mine.  
  
'Don't Curufin; don't stop yourself from letting all your pain out. It's not good for you to keep it all locked up inside.' Her arm slipped around my shoulders and with a sob I leaned against her and cried my heart out. 


	3. In the Caves

Chapter 3 CoTN  
  
Authors Notes: Firstly, Curufin's explanation of the Beren and Luthien incident is just that, Curufin's and therefore only vaguely resembles the Silm situation. Notice that he doesn't mention the fight he and Beren had, quite deliberately, so I think he's ashamed of that. And yes, he does think that his wife and son disowned him unfairly, he won't allow himself to see the Oath as something they couldn't get involved in for their own sake!!  
  
Lipstick, of course Curufin wants to peek at Fianth naked, he's curious. And like all Feanorians, curiosity must be satisfied!  
  
Finch, you're welcome, and I don't know Ambarussa do anything in their secret hideaway except get away from other people who don't understand their twin relationship. And hunt, a lot. Then again, they could be lying to me!  
  
In the caves.  
  
I came back to reality rocked in the arms of a mortal woman whose still wet hair tickled me. I made as if to sit up, and she let me, but kept her arm around me.  
  
'Do you feel better?' Fianth asked.  
  
'Yes. I'm sorry for crying all over you. I shouldn't do that, cry I mean. Maedhros never cries,' I said pushing my hair out of my face yet again. I actually felt quite embarrassed about my emotional outburst.  
  
Fianth smiled, 'Yes, he does.'  
  
'He does!!' I knew from her face that my expression of shock must have quite ludicrous. 'How do you know that?' I asked suspiciously.  
  
'About a year ago, I was sent late at night with a message for Lord Maedhros and when I got to his chambers, the door was slightly ajar. I don't know why I didn't knock, but I didn't. I peeped through the crack in the door instead, and well, Maedhros was lying on his bed, clearly weeping.'  
  
I doubted I could be more surprised if Father had returned to life in front of me! 'What did you do?'  
  
'I left, and came back a few minutes later, making quite sure to knock loudly. I don't think Maedhros knew I'd been there earlier.'  
  
'Could you have been.mistaken?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'I see', I sat quietly, pondering what Fianth had told me.  
  
'Stop thinking that hard, or you'll hurt yourself!' my guide laughed! 'You need some tea!'  
  
'You think we've had enough wine?'  
  
'Absolutely.' She stared out at the rain still pouring down outside. 'Somehow, I don't think we'll going anywhere tomorrow.'  
  
I nodded agreement, and for some time we sat lost in our own thoughts. Fianth began combing her hair soon, and when she was done, loaned me her comb as I'd forgotten to bring one.  
  
I handed Fianth back her comb, and she yawned as she put it away. Strangely, I felt more tired than I had in many years, 'I don't think that one of us needs to be on watch tonight, the horses will alert us if necessary.'  
  
She nodded agreement from where she lay on her blankets. 'Fianth, would you mind terribly if I moved my blankets next to yours? To be next to you?' For the first time since I was a small boy I felt shy, and I was worried that she would say no.  
  
'Not at all,' she smiled, and I wondered if she guessed that I was reluctant to feel alone tonight. Probably, for a mortal she seemed quite intelligent.  
  
So, we lay in our blankets, facing each other but not quite touching. On an impulse I didn't understand, and couldn't seem to fight, I reached over and caressed her face. She pulled back a little at first, and then relaxed. Her skin was smooth, not quite as silky smooth as an elf's but pleasant to touch just the same.  
  
'Thank you for your compassion, Fianth. I needed it badly.'  
  
'You're welcome,' she said sleepily, and soon she did fall asleep, and I left my hand resting on her cheek, feeling the warmth of her.  
  
I must have slept like an elf child, for I woke with the day well started from what I could see of the angle of the sun through the cave entrance. And Fianth curled up against me, her hair tickling my face. She looked so young asleep, I noticed and I wondered; how old was she?  
  
The horses were gone, and I was contemplating getting up to see where they were, when my stallion popped his head into the cave, casually informing me that the others were grazing and he was watching them. I didn't bother contradicting him even though there were a few stalks of grass hanging from his mouth. He vanished again as quickly as he had appeared, so I had no reason to move for a little while. That pleased me, for it was very pleasant lying there comfortably with Fianth. She moved a little, and I thought she would wake, but instead she snuggled up closer, and I felt happy to let her do it.  
  
Her breath was warm, and she felt good against me, and I was happy with the world that morning. Finally Fianth stirred, opened her eyes and looked directly into mine. 'Curufin! How, why?' she looked confused. 'You've been awake for a while'. That was a statement and not a question.  
  
'Yes, for a little while. You looked so comfortable I didn't like to disturb you!' I said.  
  
'Oh! I'm sorry for..' and she tried to move away from me, and I prevented her.  
  
I saw the same tinge of apprehension in her expression as I had the previous evening, 'don't move, Fianth. I won't hurt you. I am simply enjoying the feeling of your nearness.'  
  
She still looked uncertain, and I knew that I was not behaving how she expected me to. 'What do you want of me, my lord?' she asked, suddenly formal again.  
  
'Nothing. Not a thing, and I have told you to use my name,' I insisted when she gave me a funny look. What was it that she thought I wanted, I wondered.  
  
'You are confusing me, Curufin. A mortal man would want something. Do you know much of mortal customs?'  
  
'In what respect?' I asked, intensely curious now.  
  
For some unaccountable reason she blushed, 'Women like me, young widows.'  
  
I wondered if I looked as bewildered as I felt. 'Fianth, I have no idea what you are talking about!'  
  
'A mortal man, in your place, and knowing I am neither maiden nor wife would be likely to want me to lie with him.'  
  
That gave me one of the biggest surprises of my life! 'Supposing I did want such from you, would you?' I asked her, curiosity overcoming me again.  
  
She considered this carefully for a few moments, 'Probably. I wouldn't know for sure unless I was put in that position, but quite likely.' Her brown eyes were fixed on mine, 'You do not seek comfort from elven ladies?' she asked.  
  
'No, for an elf remains constant to his or her spouse,' I replied.  
  
'Even if separated by distance or death?'  
  
'Yes'.  
  
'Oh', then she laughed as she digested what I'd told her. 'So, I can feel quite safe, then!'  
  
I didn't quite know about that, this lady was rousing feelings in me that I should not be having. 'Probably', I said softly and kissed her brow. Before she could react in any way I rolled away from her and got up. Breakfast was certainly in order, I was hungry, and I guessed Fianth would be too.  
  
So we toasted the last of the bread over the fire, and ate it with some cheese. The rain had stopped now, so we went for a look at our surroundings, to see if it was feasible to move today, or whether we would need to stay another night.  
  
'I think we're stuck here!' commented Fianth when she saw that the small stream we'd crossed to find this place was now a raging torrent after the rain.  
  
I nodded agreement, 'Until tomorrow at least, maybe longer although I suspect any stream that can flood so quickly will probably abate as fast.' Fianth agreed and we went back to the cave, for it was still very cold outside. On our way back I noticed some tracks in the thick mud I found interesting. I would show Fianth she was not the only one who could hunt!!  
  
Back in our camp, I picked up my bow, and hunting knives, then decided I should take my sword. The chances of finding Orcs in broad daylight were slim, but other dangerous creatures abounded in this world, and some of them would hunt wild boar too.  
  
'Going hunting, I see,' said Fianth and made to pick up her gear to accompany me.  
  
'No, please stay here, and gather more wood for tonight. If I am successful we will need a good fire'  
  
'Male pride', she said smiling. I see elf men are just as prone to it as mortals. Off you go then, Curufin, but if you haven't returned by mid afternoon I'm coming looking for you!'  
  
'Women!' I returned. 'Always fussing over one as though you were still a child!'  
  
'Ah, we wouldn't need to at all if you men could look after yourselves!'  
  
I walked off to carefully trail the family of wild boar whose tracks I had seen earlier. Well before mid afternoon and long before my guide would 'come looking for me' as if I hadn't been hunting for many years before she was born, I retraced my path to the cave carrying a young pig I'd shot and dressed. We would eat well tonight.  
  
'Successful, I see', said Fianth as I entered the cave.  
  
'There was never any doubt but that I would be' I stated, and she laughed, no doubt finding my male pride amusing again.  
  
'You have been busy,' I said, approvingly. For she had been, enlarging the fire pit, and ringing it with stones, now that we were staying another night, and she'd cleared up after the horses too. Then I took a good look at the objects I could see further towards the back of the cave, and realised that Fianth had done some washing. My clothes, too! I thanked her, and she simply smiled, saying that while she trusted my cooking, what man ever lived who could clean anything. I chose not to tell her of the times I had cleaned forges, perfectly satisfactorily too.  
  
Instead, I started the pig cooking, for it would take some time. Part of the cave floor was sandy, and I dug a ground oven, lining it with rocks I heated in the fire. The pig I wrapped in some wild herbs, and I stuffed it with more, before laying it in the hot pit and covering it with more hot rocks and a careful layer of sand.  
  
'It will take several hours to cook, Fianth, so I am going to clean myself up,' I remarked as I stripped off my bloodied shirt and tunic.  
  
'It's just as well I did the washing, or you'd have nothing clean to wear,' Fianth smiled.  
  
The horses clattered back into the cave as another rain shower started, and soon made themselves comfortable around the fire, their coats steaming as they dried.  
  
'I think I'll join you as the horses have taken over in here!' said Fianth.  
  
I drank the last of the tea she'd poured for me when I first came in, and we walked back to the hot spring. Curiously, Fianth seemed less concerned today over whether or not I saw her naked. Was it because we'd touched last night, and having done so, she realised that although I was a Noldor, born in Aman and a prince of my people that I was yet just an incarnate being such as herself, that when I was taken down to my basic elements, I was flesh and bone like she?  
  
This new attitude of hers did have advantages, of course. For one I able to take a very good look at her, and while she was broader of hip and fuller of breast than an elf woman, she was very attractive naked. Her skin had a soft golden glow, and like my mother and Caranthir she had a soft dusting of freckles across her nose and her cheeks. She was not beautiful, but she was pretty, and I knew I had to touch her. Not now, maybe, but later. For now I wanted to be clean.  
  
Fianth settled herself in a comfortable position, and seemed to have drifted off into what mortals call a daydream; her eyes half open but her mind clearly elsewhere. So, mortals could do that too; take themselves away into place or time or event of their lives if they wished. From many things I had observed of Fianth these last days, it was clear that cousin Finrod was right: mortals and elves were closely akin.  
  
I finally decided that we should probably move before Fianth feel asleep in the water, and I playfully splashed her to rouse her.  
  
'Oh', she cried, startled. 'Was I falling asleep?'  
  
'Yes, and that's not a good idea neck deep in water.'  
  
She didn't reply immediately but simply looked at me, her eyes wide. Then suddenly, when I least expected it, her hands moved quickly for a mortal, and she sent a great wave of water my way. Splash me back, will you? I thought, and immediately splashed at her again, and was surprised to find I missed as she'd clearly anticipated me.  
  
The game continued, and I found myself enjoying this foolishness of splashing each other; I had not played like this since my son was a small boy. We laughed and I felt my spirits lift, even as I realised that Fianth was somewhat better at this water game then I. So, then I would change the rules!  
  
Careful not to give any warning of my intentions, I suddenly lunged forward and grabbed Fianth by the shoulders, pinning her against the edge of the pool. She didn't struggle as I pinned but I felt embarrassed when I realised that it was fear widening her brown eyes. Slowly I released her, and sat back.  
  
'I did not mean to frighten you,' I said quietly.  
  
'I'm being foolish, but you did startle me!'  
  
I reached out, and stroked her face gently, 'Fianth, I would not hurt you. You do not need to fear me.'  
  
'I don't, not really, but you are just puzzle me greatly, and yes, sometimes I feel a little wary of you.' Her voice was barely audible even to my elven ears.  
  
'Come,' I said, leaving the water and extending my hand to her to help her up, 'Let's go back by the fire.'  
  
Fianth hesitated before taking my hand, and I noticed she kept her eyes downcast while she climbed from the water. Peculiar how mortals can be so upset by a little thing like nudity. We dried ourselves, and dressed back by the fire, where it was warm. Carefully, I checked the ground oven, but dinner was not yet cooked.  
  
The horses had moved back towards the mouth of the cave, and Fianth and I settled by the fire. She suggested playing a simple game using coloured wooden counters, and although she won the first game, once I knew the rules she could not beat me again. We put that game away when I declared the pig cooked after a second check, and we finished the rest of my purloined wineskin with the rich meat.  
  
As I had cooked, Fianth offered to clean up, and I was content to let her. I pulled a book from my saddlebag, and settled down to read, but I noticed Fianth occasionally glancing at me as she worked. Finally my infamous curiosity got the better of me again, and I asked what her problem was.  
  
'What is the book about?' she asked.  
  
'Do you want to read it?' I replied, holding it out to her.  
  
She blushed again, looking very uncomfortable, and I wondered why. When she replied, I was quite astonished, 'I do not know how to read, Curufin. I am a farmer's daughter, and so was not taught what was considered an unnecessary skill.'  
  
I blinked in surprise, 'would you like me to teach you?' I offered, more out of curiosity to see what she would say.  
  
'Would you!' she gasped, clearly delighted.  
  
'I would not have offered if I didn't mean it,' I said, quite sincerely, for her enthusiasm was clear. 'Come here,' I said, indicating she should sit next to me. She moved, and I showed her the book. 'See, these symbols represent sounds, and the sounds are parts of words.' She nodded, and I drew some runes in the cave floor, showing her the same ones as parts of words in the book, and teaching her the sounds. This mortal woman was proving more and more intriguing, and before long she was reading simple words and short sentences I wrote in the sand for her. Her ability to write was slower developing, but overall I was impressed by her intelligence and desire to learn.  
  
And by other things I should not have noticed. Like her scent, and her warmth, the colour of her hair, neither blonde nor truly light brown, but a rich dark honey colour. I remembered my earlier promise to myself, to touch her, to enjoy her. Why was the breaking of this law of the elder, to be constant to my estranged wife bothering me so? I had broken every other law of my people, including the strictest one of all: to never cause physical harm to another elf. For that, my family, and I, in fact my whole people had been cursed. Was what I was feeling for Fianth part of that, or simply loneliness for a woman's company? Perhaps the mortals were right, to seek comfort from another when one was separated from ones spouse? It was hardly likely that I would ever see my wife again, for I was banned from Valinor. By what right should I consider myself still bound to her when she had refused to follow me into exile? My mind was made up, I would no longer try to resist Fianth's charms, if she was willing, I would take the comfort she offered.  
  
She turned towards me, wondering about my sudden silence, and I pulled her close. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to kiss her deeply, and she responded. 'Fianth', I whispered rather unsteadily, 'would you give me comfort? Would you lie with me?'  
  
'Yes', she said, as her hand tangled in my hair, and she kissed me this time, her lips meltingly soft. I gasped at the passion in her, and time seemed to stand still as we gave and took pleasure in each other. 


	4. The Next Day

Chapter 4 CoTN  
  
The Next Day.  
  
I lay naked next a sleeping woman, and I felt very happy. Fianth might be a mortal, but she had given me what no elf woman would: physical delight, yes, but more. Her passion, her acceptance of me as another person who needed comfort was had been amazing. I discovered lying there that I could get quite fond of this lady, and I hoped to continue our friendship even when our errand to find my brothers was complete.  
  
It was early morning, not yet dawn but the sun would rise soon and we should get on our way today. Like yesterday morn, I didn't want to wake Fianth, but today I had to, but I could at least wake her gently. So I kissed her softly and was rewarded by seeing her eyes open slowly even as she returned my kiss. Odd, but I had considered her brown eyes unremarkable, but now I could see the different colours and depths within them. She actually had pretty eyes, and I hadn't noticed till now which was very unlike me. Then again, I supposed that last night I had been more interested in other extremely attractive parts of the lady.  
  
'Good morning,' she said as our lips parted.  
  
'A very good morning,' I smiled as my hands caressed her warm body. It felt remarkably good to touch a woman so. Fianth greatly enjoyed my touch, and in a few moments her hands began to roam my body too. One of the things I missed most from my time with my wife was early mornings spent like this, making love.  
  
As last night, when we were spent, we rolled onto our sides, and Fianth lay in front of me, her hands stroking my back. Thus we lay, as the sun rose and lit the new day. Finally, reluctantly, we had to rise, and we bathed in the hot spring one last time, playfully washing each other.  
  
Breakfast was eaten as we packed our gear, and saddled the horses, who were eager to commence the journey again. I had left Fianth's side once during the night, to check the flooded stream and as I had assumed, it had abated enough to be fordable.  
  
So, we rode on our way, splashing through the stream and on slightly west, but always in a southerly direction. Once Fianth asked me to look for a tall pointed hilltop that looked like a spire. Clearly it was a landmark, and she said that I would see it when she could not. I nodded agreement, while mortals were similar to elves in more aspects than I would have considered possible even two days ago I had to admit that mortals were not long sighted, nor was their hearing good.  
  
It was mid day when I saw the pointed hilltop and we stopped to have lunch. A short break was all we took for Fianth said there was a good campsite ahead, near the east side of the pointed hill. 'It is even possible we may meet your brothers there, Curufin, for it is one of their outposts from their hideaway.'  
  
'Really! Well then, we should make haste!' I replied, eager to see my brothers whom I hadn't seen in some years. Ambarussa were the only ones younger than I, and I had a great fondness for them.  
  
'It's not likely, though. It is far more likely that we will find them in the main camp, still four or five days hard ride from here,' Fianth said.  
  
I knew that too, but I was torn between desire to spend more time with Fianth and pleasure at the thought of seeing my brothers, and oddly as I idly let my mind brush across hers I found she too was thusly divided in her wishes. Still, it was mid afternoon and soon we would need to camp for the day, so we rode quickly in order to reach the site Fianth had mentioned.  
  
My brothers were not there, but we found signs of very recent occupation, a day, not more than two at most. I examined the boot prints carefully; quite sure the identical prints had been Ambarussa. I could see why they used this place, like the site we had used the previous two nights, it had fresh water very close, plenty of dead wood for the fire, and while there was no cave, the rock walls on three sides made the site extremely defensive able by a handful of warriors.  
  
We had not hunted this day, so our evening meal was a cold one of dried fruit and meat. I began to wish I had brought some lembas, but I had not so there was nothing I could do about it. We had a fire, and hot tea at least, and thankfully no sign of Orcs, which both Fianth and I thought unusual. Were my brothers responsible for this lack of enemies?  
  
It was a boon, for once again, we decided to trust the horses to keep watch, and once again I just had to indulge myself with Fianth. This astonished me, for even when my wife and I were newly wed we had not so indulged ourselves. Was it because elven law forbade Fianth to me and so I was fascinated by that fact? That a physical relationship with her should not be? Or was it truly that I needed her?  
  
I could not sleep, and I lay with Fianth in my arms, thinking. Was it right that elves were bound to their spouses irrevocably? Was it cruel of the Valar to expect this, even for I, who was separated forever from my wife? I decided it was, for not until I lay with Fianth did I realise how much I needed physical love, or how quickly I had become deeply fond of the lady who had given herself to me.  
  
Having decided that the laws of the Elder in relationship to marriage were horribly unfair to all elves, and perhaps mortal customs were kinder to incarnate beings of flesh and blood, I quieted my mind enough to rest for a while. I soon awake again, thinking though. Perhaps the Valar, who are beings of spirit who may chose to clothe themselves with bodies, just cannot understand the physical needs of those bound to their hroa. Grandfather Finwe had once touched this subject with me, when I first became betrothed. I had not then understood why he had married Indis, but now I did, and I was sorry for the fact I had not earlier. With this thought in mind, I finally slept, and quite deeply at that.  
  
To my surprise, it was Fianth who woke me the next morning, her hands gliding through my black hair gently. She was pushing it from my face, but I found her touch very pleasurable, and it was a nice way to wake up. We could not bathe properly this morning, but we managed a quick clean up from water I heated in a cooking pot. Then breakfast was on the run again, for we both believed we could catch up to my brothers before they reached their most secret hideaway, and save ourselves some days journeying.  
  
We did not catch up to Ambarussa that day, for we delayed ourselves hunting rabbits. Neither of us felt like cold food again that evening, so when we found a rabbit warren, we quietly shot two plump young rabbits. Again, we found were my brothers had camped for the night, and with the campfire ash still faintly warm to my elven senses it was obvious they had left no later than that morning.  
  
We would eat, rest and depart the site well before dawn, we decided. We had still seen no sign of Orcs; my brothers must be responsible for that, there was no other reasonable explanation. The rabbits became a stew, flavoured by the remains of the herbs I had gathered for the wild pig two days ago, and thickened by various root vegetables Fianth gathered when she gathered more firewood. Even if I do say myself, the stew was good, or was it just hunger for a hot meal?  
  
We had no time for dalliance that night, but Fianth was happy to sleep in my arms again, something I found nearly as pleasant and comfortable as joining with her. I stroked her face as she slept wondering if she found as much comfort in me as I did in she. I hoped so.  
  
It was not long after midnight that I woke Fianth. It was three nights from a full moon, so there would be plenty of light to ride by. We were ready to ride quickly, and we pushed on through the night. I kept a careful watch for danger, but I saw nothing out of the ordinary at all. Which in itself was puzzling, but maybe I solved the mystery of Ambarussa's activities; could it be they were hunting Orcs?  
  
The sun was not long up when Fianth said we approached the next of my brothers' campsites. She had told me as we rode that we were in essence re tracing the journey she had made with my brothers not quite four years previously. Again, I wondered how old she was, surely she was very young yet, she spoke of having had a child, and she had been married. I resolved when we were safely back in Himring to find out more about Fianth.  
  
Sure enough, we had found my brothers, for it was Amrod's voice that challenged us, and his delighted cry when I replied. I dismounted, and indicated Fianth should too, and barely were we both standing by our mounts when I was hit by a small whirlwind, my red haired twin brothers nearly knocked me off my feet with the exuberance of the their greeting. They always were an enthusiastic pair!  
  
Soon though, they greeted Fianth nearly as warmly, exclaiming over how well she looked compared to when they last saw her. As I looked around the campsite, I realised I was right, that it appeared my brothers were not hunting Orcs, but also deer from the spitted meat cooking over the fire. It seemed Fianth and I had arrived just in time for breakfast.  
  
Over a meal of venison I answered my brothers' questions about why I was there. I explained how the Oath had stirred again, and of Maedhros' need to see all of us, and to discuss the situation. Ambarussa were silent and grim faced when I finished.  
  
Amras it was who spoke, 'we should leave today, then, for this does appear urgent.' All of us were in agreement, and by mid morning we were under way.  
  
The journey back was uneventful, but I regretted that I could find no way to be private and intimate with Fianth. That would have to wait until we were safely within Himring. 


	5. Himring

Chapter 5 CoTN  
  
Himring  
  
The journey to Himring was uneventful and swift. Once I had explained that Maedhros was gathering us all, and that it had to do with our Oath, Ambarussa agreed we needed to break camp the next day for a swift trip to Himring. Fianth had said little for the evening, but shot me a quick glance when our Oath was mentioned, and it was clear she knew no details.  
  
The only thing I didn't like was there was no opportunity to be private and intimate with Fianth. Now I had a physical relationship with her, I discovered how much I needed her, and how loath I was to do without her comfort. Still, perhaps once we were in Himring, Fianth and I could find a way to spend time together.  
  
In was mid afternoon when we reached Himring and most of the men were gone for the day, hunting. Only Celegorm was present, and that apparently was only because he was drunk. I had to feel sorry for him, this was the second time a lady had refused his suit, and then Huan had left him, too. My brother had always been far too fond of his hound, but I could understand his pain.  
  
So, the servants took the horses, and Fianth vanished back to her quarters, but not before I tried to gain a promise to see her later. She nodded, but made no promises as she half expected to be on guard duty. 'I will get you excused,' I said, eager for her company.  
  
'No, Curufin,' she said, her hand warm on my face, 'If you start asking for special treatment for me, someone will realise you are doing more than simply giving me reading lessons.' That made me smile, for her reading lessons had continued on the way back to Himring, much to my brothers' amusement. They teased Finath unmercifully, and I could tell that she was planning revenge one day.  
  
The hunters returned laden with game just as the sun set. Great activity blossomed for a few hours while horses were stabled, dogs kennelled, and the hungry fed. At the front of the hunt as Himring's Lord, Maedhros had received a wound to his left leg while foolishly dispatching a boar on foot with a sword. Even as the healers tended him, Maglor was scolding, and Ambarussa fussing. Caranthir stood at my side, he had arrived yesterday, he said. Celegorm nursed his sore head and sorer temper in the corner, and I rather enjoyed being together with all my brothers again.  
  
'If it were not for such grim purpose, it would be pleasant, this meeting,' Caranthir said as he offered me a wine cup.  
  
I accepted the cup, and took a long drink before answering, 'It would indeed; it has been too long since we gathered. How fares your realm, brother?'  
  
'Well; the Naugrim trade well as ever, and many jewels have come into my possession recently. I brought some with me, thinking you of us all would like to see these. The sapphires are particularly good.'  
  
'Sapphires? I queried, 'they are a gem not much seen in good quality here in Middle Earth. I would very much like to see these stones.'  
  
Caranthir beckoned a servant, who soon reappeared carrying samples of the gems, and I had to agree, the sapphires especially were particularly fine.  
  
As I examined the gems, I spoke, 'I hope you will allow me to cut and finish some of these for you, Caranthir?'  
  
'I had hoped you want to, take some for yourself; too, the best craftsman is worthy of his fee!  
  
'You don't have to give me anything, you know I never expect payment of any kind from any of my brothers!'  
  
'I know, but you will need one of these gems, I think one of the sapphires. This one, perhaps,' Caranthir had a distant unfocused look to his gaze as his hand chose a stone.  
  
'What have you seen', I breathed. It was odd; the two of us, I arrogant and rude, Caranthir with his reputation for bad temper had always gotten on well together. He was always a loner, content in his own company and with the strange visions that came to him from time to time. It was good policy, however, to listen to what Caranthir had to say when he said he 'saw' something. A strange gift he shared with cousin Finrod.  
  
'A gift for a lady. A dagger, oddly a warrior's dagger, but made for a woman's hand, and decorated with a sapphire in the hilt.'  
  
'Then I shall make it, and hope to find a lady to give the gift to,' I replied carefully, having no doubt that Caranthir's 'seeing' meant I was to give a dagger to Fianth.  
  
'Yes, do. For the dagger will save the lady's life, and that of the last hope of our house,' my brother whispered, and then his eyes focused again. 'I have no idea what I mean,' he said a little shakily.  
  
'Drink this,' I urged him, and handed him his wine cup again, pushing him back into a convenient chair. Caranthir did not protest; he must have had a very intense experience to react like this.  
  
Caranthir drank deeply and I saw the colour come back into my brother's face. 'You had better rest before Maedhros' meeting with us later tonight.'  
  
'Yes,' he agreed, and I helped my brother to his chamber.  
  
'What's wrong with Caranthir?' asked Maglor as I made my way downstairs again.  
  
'An intense vision,' I replied. 'He's fine, and there's no need to disturb him!' I scowled at Maglor who had been going to check on our brother.  
  
'Very well, he'd probably bite my head off anyway!'  
  
'Probably, but it could be worse,' I grinned mischievously, deliberately reminding Maglor of the one time during Maedhros' captivity that hostilities between he and Caranthir had resulted in a fight. Not with swords or knives, but fists, feet and even teeth. A vicious fight that neither was ever declared the winner of, and which I believe neither ever had the desire to repeat!  
  
Maglor pulled a face and ran down the steps ahead of me, he had been playing chess with Amrod, and knew well enough that if he were too long from the board the Twins would likely hide half the pieces! I however decided to search out Fianth, who I soon discovered was on guard duty on the Eastern wall. It was not out of place for the Lord's brother to check the guards, and make sure all was well.  
  
I found Fianth and three others, all elves, walking the Eastern ramparts in a random pattern, watching for anything out of the ordinary. During the few times I visited Himring in the past, I had noticed that Maedhros rostered his guards this way; a mix of elf and mortal.  
  
To be fair, I intended to check the sentries on the other walls and approaches, especially the Northern one. So after a good talk to one of the elven sentries, a long time retainer in my father's house, I found the chance to speak to Fianth. She was genuinely pleased to see me, her eyes lighting up with pleasure although under the gaze of others she greeted me decorously.  
  
'You have had a meal?' I asked her, noticing that she was dressed warmly in a thick cloak and had leather gloves on too. Mortals often suffered badly from the effects of cold in their hands, so I was pleased to see she was being sensible.  
  
She nodded, 'yes, we all had a lovely meal of fresh roasted venison and fruit tarts, same as you did, no doubt.'  
  
'When are you off duty, I want to see you,' I whispered, aware of the keenness of elven hearing and that three other elves were nearby.  
  
'Midnight, you will be in council with your brothers, and I have been summoned to the meeting too.'  
  
'You! Why?'  
  
'I don't know, I guess we will find out in a few hours.'  
  
As one of the other sentries approached, Fianth bowed formally, 'I shall obey, and attend the council, My Lord,' she said quietly, and recommenced her rounds.  
  
That brief contact with her left me longing for her, to speak to her, to touch her as I completed my self-imposed sentry check. No one could know of my friendship with Fianth, so she must be wanted for something else.  
  
A little before midnight I looked up from my contemplation of the fire to see Fianth walk into the main hall. I gave her a tiny smile as came to stand next to me and warm herself. We did not speak, afraid of listening ears, and when Fianth was warm we walked together to Maedhros' private chambers.  
  
My oldest brother was in his bed, sitting up surrounded by papers and maps, cursing his wounded leg. All of my brothers were present, and only Celegorm protested Fianth's presence.  
  
'She will be here but a few minutes,' snapped Maedhros showing an uncharacteristic burst of temper.  
  
'Now, Fianth, sit,' said Maedhros, indicating a chair beside him. 'In front of us all the youngest of my brothers wish to say something to you.'  
  
Fianth's eyes were wide and slightly apprehensive as Ambarussa moved to flank her. 'We release you from your promise not to tell anyone of our hideaway,' said Amras.  
  
'You may tell anyone whom any of our brothers considers trustworthy,' finished Amrod.  
  
'Th-thank you, My Lords,' she whispered. 'It will make things easier for the future. I will promise not to reveal your secret location to anyone not in this room, or not authorised by someone here present.'  
  
'Good,' said Maedhros, and patted her shoulder. 'Run along, and take some well earned rest, Fianth.'  
  
'Yes, Lord,' she said and left.  
  
I watched her leave from the corner of my eye, and then Maedhros spoke. 'We all know the mortal Beren seeks a Silmaril with the aid of Luthien of Doriath. The question is: 'what do we do? For our Oath is stirred, we cannot permit one of the Jewels to fall into any hands but our own.'  
  
'I say we do nothing, for now. Let that demented pair try to secure a Silmaril, they will die trying,' snarled Celegorm for the corner.  
  
'They may well, but what if they succeed?' asked Amras. 'It is likely that they would go to Doriath to Luthien's father and the protection of the The Girdle.'  
  
'And Doriath is impenetrable, so I ask again what should we do?' said Maedhros, his gaze sweeping us one by one.  
  
'We keep watch,' said Caranthir. 'Sheer folly it would be to attempt to find or follow Luthien and her mortal to Morgoth's very lair, and we will hear soon enough if they are to succeed.'  
  
'Then what', spat Celegorm from his corner.  
  
'Then we try to apprehend them before they reach Doriath,' said Maedhros.  
  
'We cannot breach Doriath's defences to take the Silmaril by force once it is there!' I spoke for the first time.  
  
'Perhaps not by force, at least not a great force,' said Maglor dreamily. 'I might sing a way for a small group to enter.'  
  
Six pairs of eyes fastened on Maglor who sat smiling on the far side of Maedhros. I, for one, did not doubt him although I knew Caranthir and Celegorm did. Maglor never said he could something if he couldn't, and he might be one whose voice and power was great enough to breach The Girdle of Melian.  
  
A heated conversation followed Maglor's comment, but we resolved a course of action, or rather inaction finally. We would all remain in Himring for now, and wait to see if Beren and Luthien were successful. Should they be, we would plan afresh.  
  
Frankly, I was exhausted when I sought my chamber, and I crawled into my bed, wishing for Fianth's sweet company. 


	6. Fianth

Chapter 6 CoTN  
  
Fianth.  
  
Lord Maedhros had dismissed me, so I obediently left although I had been longing to stay and find out why my sworn Lord had gathered his brothers so swiftly, and what this could mean for the warriors of Himring. Was there a plan to launch to a great assault against Morgoth? I wish I knew.  
  
Still, I was tired and cold, so I went to my quarters by way of the kitchens, hoping that Talagar, my friend would be there. He was Noldor; he and all his family had been long in the service of House of Feanor. A nice, jolly fellow, he ran Himring's kitchens and his wife was head of the bakers and pastry cooks. As it happened I was in luck, Talagar was in the kitchens, supervising the storage of the last of the game brought in. Like all cooks, he was only truly happy when he was feeding someone!  
  
'Fianth,' he cried when he saw me. 'Come here, come here. Sit down, child. Barely home, and then on guard duty, you must be hungry.'  
  
I disentangled myself from Talagar's bear hug and sat down. He was friendly and kind, and my first friend in Himring. 'Here you are,' he said serving soup from the huge kettle he had on a small hearth, 'some bread only baked this morning, and do you want some mulled wine?'  
  
'Yes please,' I said, noting that Talagar was taking the opportunity to join me in a midnight snack.  
  
'Well, is there anything you can repeat from the Lord's meeting?' he asked, and I remembered that although my friend was a cook, he had wielded a sword in the past, and at need would again in the future.  
  
'Nothing of any interest. Lords Amrod and Amras released me from my promise not to reveal the location of their hideaway. I may now tell any of the Lords, or those they consider trustworthy, then I was dismissed.'  
  
'I wonder if this has anything to do with the Oath?' Talagar mused.  
  
'Talagar, what is this Oath?' I asked, not without some trepidation. Something so little spoken of was surely terrible.  
  
He sighed, 'I keep forgetting how young the race of Men is, and that none could have present when the Oath was sworn. It is not spoken of much, but I'll tell you. Feanor and all seven of his sons swore a dreadful Oath to recover the Silmarils from anyone who might hold them, no matter what the cost, or they will face the Everlasting Darkness.'  
  
It took me a few seconds to find my voice, and Talagar took opportunity to tell me more, 'the rest of us, including most of the other Lords and Ladies took a lesser oath, to seek vengeance for our King. Morgoth murdered him.'  
  
'You mean Morgoth personally, don't you?'  
  
'I do, child. So that's the Oath. I feel that something is about to happen concerning it.'  
  
'When we found Lords Amrod and Amras, Lord Curufin said something to his brothers about the Oath stirring,' I said softly, watching Talagar for his reaction, which was astonishing. I'd never or heard of his remarkable cheerful demeanour being disturbed over anything, but now he was definitely agitated. He rose, and began to pace the floor, all but wringing his hands.  
  
'Talagar, friend, is it truly so bad?'  
  
'The Lords will do ANYTHING to redeem their Oath. And they expect us, their followers to do the same, only I'm not sure I can do what they need me to again. Have you heard of the Kinslaying?'  
  
'Something vague, that it led to the whole Noldor people being cursed.'  
  
'Well, now, that's true enough, and I suppose we deserved it. We asked the Teleri people for their ships, they refused, Feanor wasn't thinking clearly and lost his temper. We fought the Teleri and slaughtered many. We won,' he gave a crooked smile, 'I wonder if the Valar would have cursed us had we lost the battle? Or would they have cursed the Teleri.' He paused again and again I did not speak, loath to interrupt. 'I don't think I could pick up a sword against innocents again. Against Orcs and evil men in Morgoth's service, yes, but not against women and children again, and I fear that is what will be asked of me.'  
  
'It hasn't come to that, yet.' I said comfortingly. 'Maybe it never will, or you may not be asked to join the warriors.'  
  
'Aye, you're right, child,' he said, visibly less upset. 'Maybes may never be, my mother used to say. A wise lady, I should have listened to her more. She stayed behind, many of our women refused to disobey the Valar and leave Aman, and my father and brothers died when Lord Maedhros was captured by Morgoth.'  
  
I had heard of Maedhros captivity, and how he lost his right hand. I had always admired Fingon for his brave rescue of his cousin. That many of the Noldor women chose to stay behind surprised me; I would have thought they would follow their men. I suppose this is what Curufin meant when he said his wife didn't love him enough to follow him. At least my husband had died, and he couldn't control that!  
  
'You'd best seek your bed, Fianth,' Talagar said at last.  
  
'Yes, Father,' I teased, as I kissed him goodnight.  
  
He laughed, rewarding me another crushing hug. Like many of the elves, Talagar found mortals fascinating, but to him I was a child. I suppose to one as old as he, I was. Why then Curufin's interest in me?  
  
This bothered me as I lay in my bed, half asleep, that Curufin a lord, and indeed a prince of his beautiful immortal people was so interested in me, a mortal. I knew he'd found it difficult as I to behave ourselves on the ramparts tonight. And honestly now I missed him, not just our lovemaking but also his company. Damn it all, I was falling in love with him! On that sobering thought I fell asleep, only to wake to the sound of an explosion, and commotion. Throwing on my clothes, I bolted to the window, to look down on scene of confusion. Maedhros, his red hair a mess, faced another elf I didn't know and the two were arguing heatedly about something.  
  
'Do that again, and I'll stake you out for Orc bait!' shouted Maedhros at the finish, and the miner, (for that was what his dress indicated) slunk off muttering under his breath, knowing as well as I did that Maedhros' threat was just that, a threat he had no intention of carrying out.  
  
I tidied my hastily donned clothes and headed for breakfast, then was told I was dismissed for the day, a day off I'd forgotten about. A party consisting mostly of mortals was going fishing for the day and I dashed upstairs to find my fishing things and my cloak, as I had no intention of missing out. Coming back down I ran right into Curufin, who was clearly seeking me. Luckily his elvish reactions meant we didn't tumble down the stairs, but I end up comfortably within his embrace.  
  
'Dear me, you are keen to great me!' Curufin laughed as we kissed.  
  
'Yes', I replied snuggling up. There was no on else around to see us, fortunately.  
  
'Going fishing?' he asked.  
  
'Definitely, I love fishing. Unless you have a better plan in mind?'  
  
That made him chuckle, 'no, not now. I rather thought I might join the fishing party.'  
  
'Good, come on, we'll be late!' I said as I dragged the poor elf down the stairs.  
  
The fishing trip was fun. Lots of trout fell afoul of our lures and flies. The best bit was when Radyn, one of the mortal officers technically in charge of me, fell in the river. As he is a grumpy man, prone to being very difficult to get on with, I thoroughly enjoyed his embarrassment.  
  
The cooks were somewhat less than pleased by the kitchens being invaded by fishing bearing maniacs, all insisting they knew the best way to cook fresh fish, and Talagar had to put his foot down most firmly to regain control. I admired the way he did this: everyone OUT of his kitchens NOW, or he would refuse to prepare the food for Midsummer's feast tomorrow. That worked, even Maedhros, drawn to the row and racket being raised, obeyed the cook, he left mumbling something about good cooks being hard to come by. I mentioned this to Curufin looked a bit startled, and said, yes, but the real reason was Talagar was in possession of a very embarrassing story from Maedhros' childhood that he didn't want repeated. I laughed heartily at that, clearly elves were not so very different from mortals. I only hoped to get a good portion of the trout at the feast tomorrow.  
  
I was surprised, but pleased, when Curufin insisted that I dine privately will him that evening. 'Have you been a good girl, and worked on that lesson I gave you?' he asked as we finished our meal.  
  
'Mmm, I have. See?' I held out the scroll to him.  
  
'Pity,' he said after examining it. 'I could have enjoyed punishing you. Now however, I shall just have to give you a reward,' he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes. He pulled me down on to the bed, and sat astride me, smiling, 'prepare to be rewarded!'  
  
Sometime later, I woke alone in the huge bed and saw Curufin sitting by the window, staring out at the stars. He came back to bed when he saw I was awake, cuddling close and wrapping his arms about me. 'Can I ask you something, Fianth?'  
  
'Of course,' I said, pushing his black hair from my face.  
  
'How old are you?'  
  
Now that surprised me. Curiously, had a mortal asked such a question I would likely have gotten very angry, but not with Curufin. He was probably unaware that it not a question asked of a woman, not if one wishes not to be yelled at.  
  
'I'll be twenty seven next month,' I replied.  
  
'Twenty seven, isn't that awfully young to have been married and widowed?' said Curufin.  
  
Oh-Ho, not as innocent about mortals as he seemed! 'Probably, but I was only seventeen when I married, my son was born a year later. He was only three when he died, and my husband died four years ago. Does that answer all your questions?'  
  
'No, what day is your, you celebrate the day you were born, don't you?'  
  
'That's right, we mortals celebrate our birthdays, and it's the twenty first day of next month, if you must know!'  
  
'Good, I will remember that,' he said.  
  
'Are you planning something?'  
  
'Maybe', he smiled. 'Go to sleep, Fianth.' He cuddled me close, and kissed me.  
  
Next morning, I was up early, still wondering about Curufin's interest in my age and birthday. Was he up to something? Oh well, time would tell, and really I should enjoy breakfast with Curufin, as he was kind enough to have it brought up from the kitchens; fresh bread and fruit.  
  
I could not tarry with my lover as I had duties today until early afternoon, and then I like everyone else would be dressing in my finest (only) gown and attending the Midsummer celebrations tonight.  
  
A messy day, cleaning gear and showing around some new recruits to Himring's warrior force ended a little earlier than I'd thought, and I had bread and honey for lunch on the southern ramparts overlooking the river. Curufin had disappeared with his brothers again, so I couldn't see him and felt a little lonely.  
  
A hot bath was next in order, and then I donned my gown, a nice deep green with gold embroidery and a belt of tooled leather. I hoped that one of the other shield maidens would braid my hair for me; we women often did such tasks for each other.  
  
As I entered the Great Hall in the company of my mortal friends, I could see what the cooks had been working hard on all day. The smells from the kitchens had been wonderful, and the results looked delicious. Besides the trout and game caught in the last two days, there was beef and mutton prepared in a variety of dishes, great pies and pastries too, along with breads of all kinds. Soup was served first, and I had fun helping the cooks to serve it. Lord Maedhros and his brothers had not yet appeared, but they would soon. I had a small leather bag at my seat, it was customary to give Himring's Lord a small gift at this time and I also had something for Curufin, which I would quietly give him during the night.  
  
A sudden ripple of excitement ran throw the crowd, and all eyes turned to the staircase, and I could see why. Down the stairs came Maedhros, flanked by his six brothers, and seven handsome elf lords identically dressed in black and silver made a breathtaking sight. Once again I wondered at Curufin's interest in me.  
  
The brothers swept across the hall to their seats, followed by cheering from us, their loyal followers. Once the lords were seated, it was the signal for everyone to fill plates and glasses. General talk and laughter echoed around the hall, and the rumour spread that Lord Maglor had a new song to sing later. That would be a treat, for he did not sing publicly much, I had only heard him sing once or twice, but his voice was spell binding and mesmerising in its beauty.  
  
The remains of the main course were cleared, and a dessert of sweet things and fruit prepared in many ways would follow after a short break. This is when most would present their gifts to our Lord, and a throng of people soon surrounded him. Now would be a good time to give Curufin his gift, when everyone was distracted. I slid quietly to Curufin's side and he smiled at me, introducing me to his brother Celegorm, who didn't seem very happy.  
  
'I have something for you, Lord,' I whispered, formal in case in anyone was listening. If I were to use Curufin's name casually, it would cause more remark then my giving him a Midsummer's gift!  
  
'Have you indeed,' he remarked. 'I might have something for you, too,' and I blushed at the thought. I had not had a gift from a man since my husband's death.  
  
'Tis not much,' I said, handing Curufin the small parcel.  
  
He undid it, and laughed, and showed his brother. 'Well,' said Celegorm, 'I lost the bet, it seems!' At my bewildered look, Celegorm explained, 'I bet Curufin that he could teach you to read, but not to write well. It appears I was wrong, and owe him a favour. Then again,' he said, 'maybe a dance later with you will do, shield maid! It is on your account I owe my brother, and besides, no one gives me Midsummer's gifts, but a dance will do!'  
  
'I would be honoured, Lord Celegorm, and had I known of your wish for a gift, I should have given you one.'  
  
'Hhm, nice manners. I'll be back later, to claim my dance!' and with that he moved off to talk to Maglor.  
  
Curufin meanwhile had been examining his gift, and as befitted a lord with a female subject he kissed my hand in thanks. 'A nice gift, you must have worked hard in your little free time to prepare it.' He smiled, 'I shall read it all later, but I notice that not only does this tell of your life, but it appears to contain some tales of the early years of your people, before you came west. Thank you, Fianth, I shall enjoy reading this little book, not least because it proves you a good pupil!'  
  
You're welcome, Lord,' I smiled.  
  
'Now, for your gift.' He reached into a small pocket in his black silk tunic, and withdrew a tiny package. 'I have noticed that your ears are pierced, but that you wear no earrings. I therefore assumed you possess none.' He unwrapped the little package revealing a pair of earrings made of tiny threads of twisted gold set with amber. 'Allow me to fix these in your ears.'  
  
I nodded in agreement, and felt his deft fingers fastening the earrings to my ears. 'Yes, they do suit you, Fianth.'  
  
I bowed in thanks, my smile wide. 'Thank you very much, Lord, I shall treasure these,' my fingers touched the gemstones carefully.  
  
He smiled, 'no Fianth, thank you for promising to dance with Celegorm. He has had a recent bad experience with a lady, and it will do him good to have a little female attention. Go now, give your gift to Maedhros before too many people notice we are talking together over long.'  
  
I smiled, turned and walked towards Maedhros, who was by himself again now, and I approached rather nervously.  
  
'Greetings, Lord,' I said. Holding out a cloth wrapped parcel to him, I said, 'please accept my Midsummer's gift.'  
  
'Thank you Fianth. I wonder what is in here?' he said a spark of mischief in his eyes. 'One never knows with you!'  
  
He opened the cloth, and as I had anticipated, looked back at me with somewhat of a bewildered expression on his face.  
  
'My grandfather only had one hand, Lord.'  
  
'Really,' he said politely, 'how did he lose his hand?'  
  
'He was born that way, Lord, with his left hand missing.' I smiled a little nervously, 'I guess you're wondering what this has to do with you?  
  
'Just a bit.'  
  
'Well, I've noticed that my grandfather had the same problem you do, tailors seem unable to comprehend that you don't really need both sleeves the same length, and I've noticed that you too fold your sleeve up and try to tie it out of the way with a bit of leather.'  
  
Maedhros was still looking at me in the same way, as if I was slightly simple. 'What does this' and he indicated the silver object, 'have to do with my shirt sleeve?'  
  
Thankfully, my lord seemed amused, 'see,' I said, 'it's like an arm ring, but deliberately not a complete circle, and it's silver because it's a soft metal, and if you'll allow me, it's easier to show you.'  
  
Why do I do these things to myself I thought, now extremely nervous. No one ever seemed to touch Himring's Lord, save his brothers, and I'd never known any of the ladies want to dance with him. The elves claimed it was because he had been changed by his experiences as Morgoth's captive, I personally thought it was that they were all a bit sickened by the obvious marring of his body. So I showed him, carefully I untied the rather ragged looking leather thong and I slid the arm ring on, carefully tucking the shirtsleeve underneath, and gently squeezing it tight.  
  
'I see, what a good idea!' Maedhros took a closer look, 'you even had the smith etch the emblem of the House of Feanor on it too!'  
  
'You are the head of that House, Lord.'  
  
'Mm, I am.' He lifted my right hand and kissed it, 'thank you Fianth, this is a thoughtful gift.'  
  
'You're welcome, I'm just pleased you like it, I wanted to thank you for allowing me to live here, as one of your warriors.'  
  
One of Maedhros' rare smiles graced his face, 'You don't need to thank me for anything, Fianth, I do however ask one thing of you.'  
  
I straightened, wondering he would want, 'you appear to have no fear of touching me, so I am hoping you might dance with me later.'  
  
A surge of amusement ran through me then, I had promised Curufin to dance with Celegorm if he would, and I knew Curufin would want his share of my time on the dance floor, and now Maedhros! I had a strange feeling that before the celebrations ended with the dawn, that I would have danced with all of the brothers.  
  
'I would be honoured, Lord.'  
  
'This is a celebration, Fianth, you can use my name. I shall not mind! Now run along, child, and have some dessert with your friends.'  
  
I bowed and left him. Gently as it was done, I knew a dismissal when I heard one. 


	7. The Dance

Chapter 7 CoTN  
  
The Dance.  
  
I had watched Fianth give my brother his Midsummer's present, and saw her skip merrily over to her friends and sit down. Reluctantly, I dragged my attention from her for long to eat my dessert, like Maglor I had a sweet tooth and I enjoyed the rich and fruity concoctions the cooks had prepared. From the corner of my eye I saw Fianth and she too seemed to be enjoying the desserts.  
  
Soon I hoped the dancing would start, I could not dance too often with my mortal lady or it would cause remark, however I hoped for several dances with her. I had enjoyed her in nearly every way a man could enjoy a woman, and I didn't mean just physically. I meant I enjoyed her, her company, her intellect, her wit and her compassion. It seemed only right to enjoy her on the dance floor, besides it would be nice to be near her again.  
  
Maglor was speaking quietly to the musicians who had been playing softly throughout our meal, and they nodded, smiling. It appeared the dancing might start soon, and I was determined to claim Fianth's hand early, but to my surprise Maedhros it was who lead her out to start the dancing and the great celebrations that would follow with it. My oldest brother hadn't danced in years, and now it startled me a little to see him with Fianth, both clearly enjoying spinning around the floor together.  
  
Other couples joined in, and soon Maedhros relinquished Fianth, and she laughed and sat down to catch her breath and drink some wine. Curiously now, Maedhros found no lack of dance partners and it was nice to see him having such a pleasant time, usually he sat in a corner at such celebrations, playing Lord and not joining in much. Only we, his brothers, his family, knew why; Maedhros was often as uncomfortable around others as they were around him. I could not grudge him my lady's company if she helped to ease his discomfort, but now was the time to claim her for myself.  
  
'Will you dance with me, lady?' I asked, bending over her hand as I kissed it.  
  
'With pleasure, Lord', she answered, a sparkle in her eyes as she took my hand.  
  
Although I never lacked for ladies to dance with, Fianth seemed just the right height, and for a mortal she was quite a good dancer. She fitted nicely within the circle of my arm, her face turned up to me and I had to force myself not to kiss her.  
  
The music stopped and everyone went back to his or her seats, laughing and talking. Fianth went back to where she had been sitting and I sat down again, listening to the singers. I'd never sung much, but the twins did, and sometimes Caranthir but Maglor would save the special magic of his voice until later in the evening. I noticed Fianth leave with Radyn, the commander of the mortal warriors and as they passed quite close to me I could even over the noise of the celebration hear them discussing the duty roster with my elven hearing.  
  
I took no further notice, and sat talking with my brothers, but after a while Celegorm left on the excuse of getting some fresh air, and only a few minutes later I could suddenly and expectedly felt Fianth's thoughts, and she was distressed and very frightened. I strode quickly from the hall to find her, down two flights of and through another minor hall and there I found her, and Maedhros! And Celegorm! What was happening?  
  
An unconscious mortal was sprawled on the ground, it was Radyn and even as I noticed Celegorm had a satisfied look on his face, to my eyes it was clear he was responsible for Radyn's state, and Maedhros appeared to comforting her.  
  
'What in the name of the Valar?' I gasped.  
  
Maedhros tried to answer, but it was difficult for him with Fianth collapsed against him, so Celegorm it was who spoke, 'this diseased pig's turd tried to force himself on Fianth! Maedhros and I just happened to enter this hall just in time, and I think I broke his jaw,' he said in a self-satisfied tone. 'The only question now is what to do with him?' and we both looked at Maedhros.  
  
With considerable difficulty Maedhros disentangled himself from Fianth, and passed her to me, why I wondered. Had Maedhros somehow drawn correct conclusions about Fianth and myself, or was his action simply coincidence? I had no time to think further, as soon Fianth was clinging desperately to me, and even though he was nursing an injured hand Celegorm dragged the unconscious mortal to the other side of the room. Maedhros had left, and came back with healers who naturally assumed they were to attend the unconscious man first. Maedhros indicated that Celegorm's hand was to be treated first. Surprised, they none the less obeyed.  
  
Fianth had calmed a little now, and she responded to Maedhros gently asking if she was able to speak yet.  
  
'Yes'.  
  
'What happened, why were you here alone with Radyn?'  
  
She looked up at Maedhros and spoke quietly, 'He said he wanted to speak to me about the duty roster, next thing I know he'd pushed against the wall and said something about the way I looked at him. So I managed to punch him and partly stun him, and then you and Celegorm arrived.'  
  
Maedhros' eyes held a look that meant Radyn would regret his actions. 'Has he ever behaved improperly to you or any of the other women before tonight?'  
  
'No, not that I know of. He uses his position of command to have whichever lady pleases him, but I refused him a few weeks ago, and I guess that tonight he's had too much wine!' Fianth replied, her voice no longer shaky and she seemed to have recovered herself greatly.  
  
'That is no excuse,' growled Celegorm.  
  
By now others had arrived, warriors amongst them, and it was these that Maedhros gave orders concerning Radyn who was now regaining consciousness. He was to be chained and thrown into a dungeon overnight until a decision could be made regarding his fate tomorrow. The healers protested, but were allowed to examine and treat him prior to his confinement.  
  
All this time Fianth continued to cling tightly to me, her hands had tangled in my tunic and she would not let go, not that I blamed her. I just wished I'd arrived earlier and spared her the awful situation that happened.  
  
'Come now, Fianth,' said Maedhros, holding out his hand. 'Back into the hall, child, for I wish no one to know what happened until morning. I shall seat with Maglor and the other musicians until you have recovered more. You will be safe there,' he said as she shook her head.  
  
'Please, tell people I have been taken suddenly ill, it will explain the healers presence here to others, but please, Lord, I would rather go to my room.'  
  
'Fianth, please, do as I ask. Not for long, but I have good reason to ask this,' said Maedhros.  
  
She hesitated, but I felt her fingers releasing my tunic, and she nodded, 'As long as I'm not alone!'  
  
Maedhros smiled understandingly, 'I give you my word that myself or one of my brothers will be with at all times.'  
  
'Very well, then, I agree.'  
  
I peeled her fingers from me, and then folded her hands in mine, 'Allow me to escort you,' I said quietly.  
  
She straightened, and took my arm leaning slightly on me. We followed Maedhros back into the hall, Celegorm choosing a different route in order to avoid his injured hand being connected to Fianth. Once in the hall, I saw Maglor wave, and we walked his way, I noticed a faint look on concern on his face as his gaze turned to Fianth. Obviously Maedhros had already spoken to him. He was of course his usual fussy self, sometimes I wonder about Maglor. I mean, if he's really one of us, or if Mother found an orphan and adopted him. Then I remembered his temper was as violent as Caranthir's on the rare occasion he lost it, so my theory on his origin must be wrong after all!  
  
Still, Fianth seemed to enjoy Maglor's fussing, but I wished I could look after her. I understood Maedhros' reasoning for her to stay with Maglor; no one would pay much attention even though he did have her sing with him. I hadn't realised she could sing, for a mortal her voice was sweet and clear, a pleasant soprano that suited the song she sang with my brother. She blushed at some of the compliments she received, but seemed to have completely recovered from her ordeal.  
  
Strangely, the mortals had an odd dance which required people dance in threes and not couples, two men and woman, or two women and a man. The twins soon discovered this was fun (for them) and convinced Fianth that she should dance with them, and Fianth seemed quite agreeable. I decided after this that she should give me some more of her time, and she laughed softly at me, saying I was jealous. I protested at first, even as we swung around the dance floor, then as she insisted I was shocked into silence that she was right. And that yes, I was being foolish over her simply dancing with my brothers. So, I delivered her to Celegorm, and she kept her promise to me, and danced with him, cheering Celegorm up tremendously.  
  
The evening continued, and by early morning nearly everyone was too drunk to manage any more dancing, although by this time I had been made take other dance partners than Fianth, and she had danced with all six of my brothers. Maglor had even given up singing by this point, although his marvellous songs had caused rapture at midnight when he had sung alone, and unaccompanied by any instrument. I had used to be very jealous of him; until he had told me three years ago that he envied me my jewel crafting and smithying skills. We had come to an understanding then, and I was much fonder of him now.  
  
The first rays of the dawning sun found me talking to some of Maedhros' smiths about a massive project for new gates for Himring, which they wanted my opinion on. Fianth was trying to charm a smile from Caranthir, who was not really as grumpy as he made out to her, but he delighted in playing those sort of games.  
  
Everyone went outside to watch the sun rise, and to give thanks to the Valar for the light it gave. By then even I was exhausted, and I looked at Fianth, who stood between Maedhros and I. She look very tired, dark circles under her eyes, and barely awake.  
  
'Come,' I said, 'I shall see you to bed.'  
  
'No, I don't want to sleep,' she said, even though she was nearly asleep standing up.  
  
I lowered my voice, 'why?'  
  
'I'll have nightmares. Bad dreams, and I don't want to be alone in my quarters, either,' she explained when I looked puzzled.  
  
'Then stay with me, please Fianth just so you won't be alone,' I was almost begging her.  
  
She agreed after initial hesitation, and we stole quietly to my chambers hoping not to be seen, for neither of us wanted scandalous talk, and anyway tonight poor Fianth just needed comfort.  
  
It was long before she slept, tired though she was, and I was happy to hold her and soothe her. It was little enough for all that she had done for me. 


End file.
